Stop Living for Others
In order to navigate life in a way that’s authentic and fulfilling, you need to believe in yourself. While this might sound simple, the journey to self-belief can be challenging—especially if past trauma or mental illness has chipped away at your confidence. This week, we’ve already explored how to rebuild confidence after trauma. Today, we’ll take it a step further by discussing how to stop living for others and start believing in yourself. Even when we think we've regained confidence, doubt can still creep in, making us question our abilities and desires. But you can't let the doubts shaped by past experiences control your future. Let's dive into how you can cultivate a strong sense of self-belief and truly live for yourself.
It's crucial to remember that what others think of you is none of your business. No one knows you the way you know yourself, so why should their opinions matter? Something interesting I recently learned is that you shouldn't just detach from insults or judgments from others—you should also detach from compliments and attention. When I first heard this, I was skeptical. Why wouldn’t I want to be attached to compliments? After all, they make you feel good! But that's exactly the problem. To find true inner peace, you have to completely detach from both positive and negative opinions of others.
Think about it: if your mood depends on whether your friends compliment you or if your partner gives you attention, you're still living according to other people's actions. And that's a trap! You can't rely on others to determine how you'll feel; your emotions must come organically, from within. So, the next time someone gives you a compliment, you can appreciate it and feel grateful, but don’t attach your confidence to it.
Another thing to know is that when you share your creations or express your thoughts, you'll naturally attract people who resonate with your energy. All you need to do is create from a place of authenticity. The right people will find you, drawn by the energy you emit. Why would you want to attract people through authenticity? Because if you're always pretending to be someone you're not, those who are drawn to you are only connecting with a false version of yourself. Additionally, people see life through their own lens, not as it truly is, so they will perceive you in a distorted way because their perspective is different from yours. This is why it's even more important to be real and honest—so that you can be sure that the people in your life are attracted to your genuine energy.
It's also vital to learn to embrace criticism. The opinions of others are often reflections of their own perceptions, not an accurate representation of your worth. What truly matters is how you see yourself. Release the fear of judgment and focus on your own perspective. Remember, there are over 8 billion people in the world, each with a unique view shaped by their culture and experiences. So, what are the chances that every single one of them will like you? Zero percent. Stop worrying about what others think, because criticism is inevitable, and fearing it only holds you back. Don’t let these people dictate how you live your life. Be your own leader.
Breaking free from the need for external validation and learning to believe in yourself is a transformative process. It’s about detaching from both praise and criticism and no longer relying on others to dictate your worth. By focusing on your own perspective and living authentically, you open yourself up to a life of true freedom. Remember, the journey to self-belief takes time, especially if you’ve faced challenges that undermine your confidence. But the more you practice detaching from others’ opinions and embrace your true self, the more empowered you’ll become to live life on your own terms. Start by trusting your abilities and allowing your confidence to come from within—because you are more than enough.
