How to Find Confidence After Trauma
After trauma, our self-esteem and confidence can be stripped away due to the pain and toxicity we experienced during that period of our lives. Acting out of insecurity and fear, which often happens after trauma, can lead us to behave in ways that don't support our highest good. We judge ourselves from a place of criticism, and this not only harms us but also affects those around us. When we act out of insecurity, we aren't being our most authentic selves, which means our relationships aren't authentic either. How can we break this pattern of self-sabotage?
The first step is learning to love yourself completely as you are. Today, let’s discuss some simple ways to boost our self-love, even if we've experienced childhood trauma and unhealthy emotions.
1. Start with Affirmations
The words you speak to yourself hold immense power. Make it a habit to practice positive affirmations daily—preferably when you first wake up and look in the mirror. This sets a powerful tone for the day ahead. Here are some affirmations to get you started:
I am grateful for this new day and the opportunities it brings.
I am strong, capable, and equipped to handle whatever comes my way.
I choose to focus on the positive and create joy in every moment.
My energy is radiant, and I attract good things into my life.
I am deserving of love, success, and happiness today and every day.
By consciously using these affirmations, you remind yourself that you have control over your life and mindset. Words shape your reality, so if you don’t treat yourself with kindness, who will?
2. Acknowledge Your Power
If you feel insecure or self-conscious, it’s likely because you're not recognizing your own strengths. Take a moment to reflect on the challenges you’ve overcome. You’ve made it this far, and that’s something to celebrate. You possess just as much talent and power as anyone else on this planet, so remind yourself that you are deserving of all the good things life has to offer. Try these short journaling prompts as a way to reflect on your strengths and uncover your true capabilities:
What challenges have I overcome that demonstrate my resilience and strength?
What are three strengths I possess that I often overlook or downplay?
How can I remind myself daily that I am deserving of good things?
What talents or skills do I have that I can use to create positive change in my life?
How do I define success for myself, and how am I already living that definition?
Don’t overlook these journaling prompts. Taking the time to reflect on your proudest qualities and moments will lead you to a life of confidence and self-love.
3. Stop Judging Others
When you judge others, you’re coming from a place of insecurity—always. The more you hurt others, the more you hurt yourself because that negativity feeds into your own negative self-image. Instead, choose to empower yourself and those around you. When you catch yourself judging someone, ask, “What insecurity is this judgment coming from?” For example, when one of my wealthier friends makes an out-of-touch comment about affording something, my mind shifts to judgment. I then ask myself why I felt the need to judge and realize it stems from my insecurity and sadness about growing up poor. Acknowledging your judgments in this way also helps you be more compassionate toward those who judge you because their comments reflect their own insecurities.
If you're interested in learning more about how to stop judging others, check out my previous blog post.
4. Always Act from Authenticity
Many people dim their light to avoid making others uncomfortable, but this shouldn't be the case! If you’re in a good mood and find yourself in a room full of cranky people, you might feel tempted to tone it down to match their energy. However, this doesn't serve you or them. Instead of adapting to the room, influence it. When you fully love and accept yourself, your authentic presence can elevate those around you. Don’t be afraid to make an impression—your light might inspire others to shine too.
Remember, others may also be holding themselves back. By being your true, authentic self, you give others permission to do the same. Authenticity is key to living without regrets because regrets often stem from acting in ways that don’t align with our true beliefs and desires. When we act inauthentically, guilt follows. But when we remain true to ourselves, there’s nothing to regret.
Taking control of your life starts by asking whether you’re acting with intention or merely reacting to the energy around you. Aligning your actions with your heart and true desires builds genuine confidence and fosters authentic self-love. This is where true empowerment begins—by prioritizing your voice and truth in every moment, you create a life of integrity, free from guilt and full of self-assurance.
You hold the key to your own freedom, and it starts with how you treat yourself. Own your power, trust your heart, and allow your self-love to guide your experience on this earth.
