The 1 Trick to Being Resilient: The Path to Peace and Acceptance

Resilience, to me, has always been about the ability to adapt and cope in challenging environments while maintaining your integrity. In a world as unpredictable and testing as ours, staying grounded during difficult times can seem tough, but I want to equip you with the one quality necessary to maintain peace.

Let’s dive into this core realization that every resilient person needs to understand: acceptance of what is. What exactly do I mean by this? Well, comparison is the thief of joy, and acceptance is its exact opposite—to stop comparing your life to what it could be and find fulfillment in what it actually is. Accept what you’ve been through, accept how you look and who you are at your core, and accept what interests truly make you happy. Understand that, for most people, life is filled with simple pleasures like grocery shopping, making small talk with strangers, going to work, or watching your favorite show, and that very few people live the "movie star" life we see highlighted everywhere. Once you’ve accepted life as it is, with all its imperfections and adversity, you become grateful for what you have. You realize that happiness isn’t earned through accomplishments or doing the extraordinary, but through embracing the beauty of the ordinary.

For example, think about the beauty of nostalgia—the feeling of missing something you cherished so much in the past. For me, being at creaky, old playgrounds gives me this comforting sense of nostalgia. I remember my mom pushing me on the swings at our old apartment park when I was just two or three, and I hold those feelings and memories dear to my heart. This nostalgic feeling isn’t sparked by the most luxurious or extraordinary experience, but by the simplest, everyday moments I shared with my mom.

When I think of the stories my grandma tells me—stories of her, my grandpa, and her three daughters (my mom being one of them)—she talks about how happy they were just playing outside on my great-grandma's farm, running after her chickens. The memories we cherish as humans aren’t the ones that involve material things but those that are formed through relationships with others—the most simple, everyday moments often turn out to be the most extraordinary and special.

Now, bringing it back to the quality you need to be resilient (acceptance, in case you forgot ;)), what are some ways to develop a mindset grounded in acceptance? Well, here are my 3 favorite simple ways to live a life of peace and acceptance:

1. Let Go of the Past: The only time that exists is right now. Don’t dwell on what’s already happened in your life—you can’t control it, and thinking about it only reemerges the pain. Live in the present and accept that your life can change for the better from this exact moment.

2. Be Grateful for the Mundane: You already have so much to be grateful for that you might be taking for granted. For example, you (most likely) have a roof over your head, the ability to go outside, enough money to afford food, someone in your life who cares for you, the freedom to do what you want, and a kind heart capable of loving life! I’m almost certain you have at least one of those, and that is something to be extremely grateful for. Just because it’s a normalcy for you doesn’t mean someone else wouldn’t do anything to have it.

3. Don’t Set Goals: I’m going to write more about this another day, but setting goals either sets you up for disappointment/comparison OR limits what you’re actually capable of achieving. You can do anything, so why set barriers? A quote by Oscar Wilde that I think about every day is, “If you want to be a grocer, or a general, or a politician, or a judge, you will invariably become it; that is your punishment.” 

Accept life as it is, do your best, and watch miracles happen!